Aan elke Voël sy kop!!
By Gavin Hayward

Voëlkop is a place people have strong feelings about. The men who are regulars love it and go there frequently. They enjoy the rustic, bushveld setting near Brits, the naked men around (nudity is optional), the opportunities for conversation (and more) with like-minded guys which they don't find in noisy, smoke-filled clubs, the self-catering option, not having to lock up or drive anywhere and thus no threat of drunken driving prosecution. The birds. The quiet of the bush.

Other people, when you say Voëlkop, mutter tersely, "I never go there". Maybe they don't like nudity, maybe they prefer 5 star accommodation, the regular rhythm of piped music. To each his own…
Voëlkop is a rustic resort, set in the bushveld. It's part of its charm, or it's what keeps you away! You can camp there (in a tent), or for a bit more comfort, hire one of their caravans. Then you may have to use the communal ablution blocks! (Could be fun!) There are another 13 wooden units that sleep four, and have a toilet, basin and fridge in them. Then you cook on a fire, or use the restaurant. There are three units which are quite luxurious, two wooden and one a brick structure, and these sleep 6 and include bathrooms and fully equipped kitchens.

The accommodation is scattered around in the bush, and you gain access to it via Kweens Avenue. Directions are sometimes given via Wankers Corner, and you may find yourself in Butch Boulevard or Nora Way. I don't think management choose your address by your characteristics!

Of course, the centre-point of Voëlkop is the pool, which has lounging lawns around it, and the bar, restaurant and lapa entertainment area. Nearby is the popular steamroom. The sauna awaits the promised electrical connexion. As do all the wires waitig I the chalets. As does the row of patient fridges in the lapa area. As do the owners Paul and Glenn who for nearly ten years have functioned with paraffin lamps and expensive generators. They have some hilarious stories about coaching city-slicker queens in the intricacies of lighting and dousing a paraffin lamp!

The bar and restaurant are enchanting wooden structures under thatch, quite open to the elements, with decks shaded by thorn trees and umbrellas.

The restaurant doesn't have a menu, but it specializes in wors. Or Sarel, who runs it, specializes in wors! Prices are very reasonable. He's up early to do hearty breakfasts on request, and for lunch and supper you can buy the dish he prepares. You can purchase a braai-pack or pie, or order pap & sous. All these are advertised in the restaurant beside an identical sign saying, "Cock-rings for sale". So I guess there is a menu at Voelkop…

Management's motto is, "Voëlkop, where the customer always comes first!"

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Still no fire in the wire…
By Gavin Hayward

At Voëlkop they're now planning a grand turn-on party. The sauna, the rows of electric fridges, the Carmen curlers - they're all still waiting for Eskom.

Said Glenn, one of the owners, "The wires are in, but there's still no fire in the wire."
Makolokwe, the neighbouring village, has been electrified, but Glenn suspects someone suffering from homophobia at Eskom is being overly diligent and thus the delay in getting electricity to Voëlkop. He has, for instance, to sort out the sequencing of numbers on little aluminium identification plaques affixed to the poles before the electricity can flow…

Electricity will bring Voëlkop into the 21st century, with access to e-mail and far greater convenience, but some will lament the passing of the paraffin-lamp era at this rural clothing-optional resort near Brits in North West Province, the charm of the shadows, the beauty of the quiet.
Not so Glenn's partner Paul who laments, "My Carmen curlers have been waiting so long for electricity to arrive, I'll have no hair to put them in when it finally gets here!"

Early in September, Voëlkop held their own Gay Games. Four teams competed for the Penis King Floating Trophy (correctly named Die Tobie Viljoen Penis Koning Wisseltrofee - see picture). Events included mealie swaai, pole crawl and mincing.

The Games were centred around Voëlkop's focal pool - for pole crawl, for instance, the 18" PVC pipe stretched across the pool was greased with Baby Oil, and participants from opposing teams had to crawl over one another (see pic) to opposite ends of the pipe. Mincing involved positioning a coin between the buttocks, running around the pool and then squatting over a pot to deposit the coin there.
Contesting teams had half an hour to come up with a uniform and war-cry. In all the ensuing hilarity, the Pink team emerged the winners.

During summer you can look forward to an Abba party, unique Christmas festivities, and a drunken New Year among the acacia tees. A particularly big event on 24 November will be Voëlkop's 10th Birthday Bash. For the occasion the day fee will be what it was 10 years ago, and they will hold occasional happy hours with liquor the price of yesteryear.

On our way to Voëlkop we stopped as usual at Hoogenot for a drink at the Explorer's Pub. This summer, what must be the North West's premier gay bar is open Friday and Saturday evenings too. The day we were there they were hosting a Bring & Braai, and had converted one of the storerooms into a darkroom for the event!

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Energy pumping at Voëlkop
By Gavin Hayward

Escom electricity finally arrived at Voëlkop in October and with it came some significant changes. The rows of fridges that had waited so patiently were at last able to cool down with installation. The sauna could graduate from just being a dark room next to the steamroom and also contribute to the hot opportunities. The owners and permanent residents are now able to watch TV (someone has even installed DSTV). They are also using food processors, fans, microwaves, webcams and whatever other gadgets and toys require electrical impulse.

Incongruously, the arrival of electricity has also brought real quiet to Voëlkop. The generator no longer has to chug and splutter, drowning the twittering of the birds. Formerly it was needed for the bar fridges, the pool filter, the music system…

City slickers, and others who take for granted that power will flow at the flip of a switch, don't fully realize the trials of coping for years without electricity, as Paul and Glenn, the owners of Voëlkop have. Dealing with paraffin lamps on a daily basis, refilling heavy gas cylinders regularly, engaging with greasy, smelly generators, stoking fires for hot water, fumbling and stumbling about in the dark…..

Electricity has led to even more pumping of human energy, too. The buzz in the bar and the pool room complements the activity in the steam area. In December, the pool and lawns surrounding it were a hive of chattering, giggling, kissing, cuddling and general camp frolicking during the day. I guess I missed one of the pics of the century when I didn't have my camera with me for a tattooed, hairy bear who was crocheting among it all!!

The huts people can hire at Voëlkop accommodate a total of at least 80 people. Then there are twelve permanent holiday chalets whose owners may have guests with them, together with endless camping facilities. In addition, New Year's Eve is the one night of the year when you can spend the night at Voëlkop without having accommodation. Simple arithmetic (and experience) tells how there can be 250 men there that night, and this New Year was no exception. The crowd, dressed in the theme of latex, sequins and feathers, boogied through the night, enjoying a spectacular fireworks display at the stroke of twelve.

Yes, men. Gay men. Voëlkop is a clothing-optional gay bushveld resort for men only. Probably unique in this country. It allows the freedom to sit naked at the bar even until late on balmy nights, to smooch and cuddle in the restaurant, to shriek uproariously with the shows in the function room. And all the rest…

What's cuming up in the next few months at Voëlkop? On 16 February there's a Bushveld Braai. You go out into the bush around the resort, get your wors over some coals, and sleep under the stars. (Of course, a portable bar goes with you!) And if you're broke in February, there's no charge for accommodation (only the day rate of R20 per day) since you'll be in your own sleeping bag on the ground. The faint of heart can stay in the camp and enjoy the amenities. Then on 9 March, there's the Voëlkop Cabarette. Anyone can take part in this fun talent show type of scene. Do WHATEVER you want, solo or in a group.

Wooden Chalets range in price from R100 to R200 per night, and sleep from 2 to 6 guys. There is provision for self catering and braais and a modest restaurant for those who can't be bothered.

There are many misconceptions about Voëlkop. They do NOT have long-drop toilets. In fact all units have flushing loo, basin and fridge at least, some with a shower, and there is a communal bathroom facility with several loos, showers and basins with mirrors.

Voëlkop is a few kilometers off the highway going to Sun City. Take the Makolokwe turning and follow signs to the cemetery!

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THE NAKED VOËLKOP

A short way away from both Jo'burg and Pretoria lies Voëlkop. Travelling there will take you past familiar landmarks en route to Sun City, finally passing through a small rural settlement. From the instant one sets foot on the farm, it is clear that this is no London or Paris. The overpowering awareness is of being in the glorious Bushveld. This is reflected in the amenities - ultimately everything about Voëlkop is geared towards the enjoyment of the outdoors. Accommodation is provided in wooden bungalows, a kitchen prepared meals which are served outdoors, walks in the bush provide quiet time and the bar area is dominated by the swimming pool.

The sounds of Voëlkop are, predominantly, laughter and birdsong. Sit down, relax with a drink and chat with owners Glenn and Paul, and you will feel the bliss of a stress-free environment fill your soul. Voëlkop is also a mere half hour's drive from the Pilanesberg Game Reserve and Sun City, which places excitement and diversion on the options list.

If you are worried by the prospect of taking off your clothes - don't be. Your state of dress is fully optional. If naked bliss is not your cup of tea, the fact that those who go natural really see and treat it as such, will make your discomfort disappear.

Voëlkop is the ideal weekend getaway where friendly faces and banter are available in an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity. For some, this has proved so irresistible that they have rented permanent space and spend every free moment there. Voëlkop is guaranteed to be better at removing the stress bags from under your eyes than any amount of cucumber slices.

- October 2000